Couples Mediation - Support for Resolving Relationship Issues

EVERY relationship has challenges. Couples Mediation from CAOS Conflict Management can help to support people in moving through those challenges where a situation seems to have stagnated with no satisfactory movement forward. It may have become a 'taboo subject' with communication breaking down whenever the topic arises or it feels like a 'sticking point' that prevents other things from moving forward. 

This can happen in any relationship. It doesn't mean either person has something 'wrong' with them nor does it mean that the relationship is 'failing', which are common misconceptions that stop us from acknowledging that everyone has such difficulties and that it is entirely normal for them to happen.

Most such challenges get resolved quickly and easily and lovingly and the couple move on from them, but it is also normal that a small proportion of relationship challenges stick around for a while longer and sometimes feel like they are never going to go away. 

Common areas of unresolved conflict in relationships  include: 

• Disagreements over money management
• Different views about health care, for partners and about any children the couple may have.
• Different views about education of any children
• Different aspirations or expectations about living space
• Different aspirations about careers and futures
• Difficulties with a partner's relatives, friends and 'in-laws'
• 'How' partners in a relationship communicate and deal with differences of opinion on any issue, patterns of behaviour or communicating over difficult issues that don't seem to work. 
• ......and many other areas that any relationship can experience difficulties over

Couples Mediation - it's not therapy!

Couples Mediation is a short term 'step-in-step-out' process that will usually involve just 3-4 meetings: Two Initial Mediation Meetings, one with each partner separately, followed by one or perhaps two Joint Mediation Meetings if these are wanted by both partners. 

It's a voluntary process and so either person can pull out at any stage and no-one will be 'chasing them up' about it if they do. Part of the powerful potential of Couples Mediation is that it is entirely client-led and so no-one is being told they have to have it and, having it at all doesn't mean there's something 'wrong' with anyone. It's just a tool that people sometimes use to help them move forward from something that has become a difficulty. And just like any tool, once it's finished with it can be put down and forgotten about. 

Depending on partners' availabilities it's entirely possible for the mediation process to be completed in a couple of weeks, providing an opportunity, for a safe, facilitated, constructive and focused discussion about an issue that could have been lingering, unattended to for months or even years. 

The mediator doesn't assess or diagnose you. Their skill is in providing a structured opportunity to reflect on the issue, review how communication has worked or not worked in the situation and to support both partners in creating new ways forward in the situation whether that is to deal with a particular issue or to look at how any difficult situation or discussion is responded to and create a different way if the present approach to communication and conflict resolution isn't working. 

CAOS Couples Mediation

At CAOS we have well over 15 years of experience in working with people who have some kind of relationship difficulty, whether at work, in the community, within a family situation and in complaints-related work.

Our approach to mediation is used by universities, homelessness charities, community mediation services, family support agencies  and within local authorities to help people create new ways forward in difficult situations they are experiencing in a safe, informal, confidential way, rather than through bureaucratic, adversarial procedures, often imposed by outside agencies. 

You remain in control of your involvement at all times and if you want to stop, you can with no further commitment required. But we very rarely find people choose to do that. When they see that it is a process designed purely to support them with no other 'hoops' to jump through, they feel more in control of what is happening and are able to focus on the situation that has led them to request mediation. 

How much does Couples Mediation Cost? 

Initial Mediation Meeting to discuss your situation - held with each partner separately

£55-£85 sliding scale (unwaged) or £75-£195 (waged) for a session lasting 1-2 hours. Paid at least 48 hours in advance. 

Each partner would find their own venue for the Initial Meeting. 

The reason we offer a sliding scale is so that you can decide what level of payment you believe you can afford. 

An Initial Mediation Meeting usually lasts between 1-2 hours.

Fees for Joint Mediation Meeting per person

Sliding scale of fees £70-£100 (unwaged) or £105-£220 (waged) per person, lasting 2-3 hours. Also paid at least 48 hours in advance.

This meeting is held at a safe, neutral venue with just the mediator and the couple. There will usually be additional fees for the venue. 

Any second Joint Mediation Meeting will be charged to each participant at 20% less than the fee paid for the first one. 

For referring agencies, the fees for the service will be as follows: 

Initial Mediation Meeting: £195 per person

Joint Mediation Meeting 1: £395 per meeting involving 2 participants. 

Joint Mediation Meeting 2: £345 per meeting 

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Contact us on 020 3371 7507 if you would like to have Couples Mediation or just have some questions before deciding.

Alternatively please contact us by email and we will get back to you as soon as possible.

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